In the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius, there appears in the 4th week a meditation entitled the Contemplation to Attain Divine Love. In this meditation, St. Ignatius has us consider the behavior of the lover to his beloved which is a love expressed not just in words but in deeds. We consider, through a series of specific reflections, all God has done and continues to do for us, from how He works and labors for us in sustaining all created things, to how all blessings and gifts descend from Him. Then, the chief point of the meditation, the consideration of how we are likewise giving ourselves to God and laboring for Him, that interchange that marks the proper disposition of the lover to his beloved. While making this meditation this morning, I could not help but consider all of the blessings that have come to my family in 2008 and ... how little I have done for God in return. The pivitol point of the five day Ignatian Retreat I took a couple of weeks ago is the general confession which is a review of one's entire life. The particular aim of the general confession is to develop true repentance for all of the offenses committed against God over the course of one's life and, with heartfelt sorrow, ask Our Lord for forgiveness with a firm conviction of amendment. Another benefit of reviewing one's life is that it provides the opportunity to see the Hand of God at work.
In my general confession, I saw with even greater insight than previously, the Hand of God in my conversion to the Catholic Faith. My conversion is truly a miracle, and my confessor, the very french Father L'Estourbeillon, was equally amazed at how God slowly worked on me over the years. I came from a completely secular worldview, sprinkled with protestantism practiced in my youth to early teens. Thankfully, the two different protestant churches I attended growing up showed me who God was at a young age. Despite the errors of protestant theology and the separation from the Church thanks to Luther's revolt, the protestant influence, along with many well intentioned people, and a loving, God-fearing, grandmother, were all important guideposts for me. Without these early guideposts, I wonder if I would have recognized/heard the whispers of God in my life in later years.
I've joked that I could be a poster child for Bishop Williamson, having a mind that was completely buried in an unreal world dominated by network television, rock and roll music, and computer games. At some point I hope to blog more specifically about my background and my conversion, describing many of the "little lights" that God placed in my path over the course of several years that finally led me home to Rome and the fight for the Traditional faith.
As 2008 comes to a close and uncertainty dominates the landscape for 2009, I thank God firstly for my Faith and pray that He continues to chisel away at me, removing anything that keeps me from getting closer to Him, my beloved. I hope to really begin giving Him something back in 2009 after ten years of conversion graces and a lifetime of gently nudging me to where I need to go so that I would find the Way, the Truth and the Life in Him and through the Church that He founded over 2000 years ago on the rock of St. Peter. I also do not want to forget the incredible gift of my wife and children. May God continue to bless our family, and may each of us discover His will for our lives that we may labor fruitfully in His vineyard. If we do not someday hear the words of our King recorded in St. Matthew chapter 25 "Come, ye blessed of my Father, possess you the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world", then we have truly labored in vain and without purpose.
Happy New Year and the Peace of Christ to all of our Family and Friends!
Immaculate Heart of Mary, Pray for us and lead us to the crib of your Divine Son where we may kneel quietly and adore with wonder and thanksgiving.
-Albert
+Feast of St. Sylvester
